Do you ever feel like you’ve hit a rut in life? You’re feeling blah, not depressed blah, not sad blah, just…ugh. So what is it? Do I suffer from this Trump Anxiety Disorder? I might. Do I suffer from depression? Yes. Do I feel discontent, like a failure? yes, yes. I definitely feel like I should be further along in life than I am. Let’s recap.
Trump- yeah he’s taking America to hell in a hand basket and fast. This bothers me. The apathy that has come out in people is disgusting and heartbreaking. Depressed- yeah, I take medicine for that. It keeps me from crying, like all the time, not ever. Discontent- yeah, everyday is the same. I love my new employer but the work isn’t that challenging and I often find myself bored. I’ve done a lot of Christmas shopping and blog writing at work. Failure- yeah, in my last post I mentioned that I’m married with two kids and living with my parents. Yeah, I should not still be living “at home.”
I’m finding it difficult to combat the blahs and be happy. I go home and often just stare out into space not even wanting to talk, because really, what is there worth talking about? The world is depressing. Nothing seems to be going right. Guns in schools, families separated, making friends with the enemy. And not even recognizing who really is the enemy anymore. I try to be positive, I really do. My kids are happy and I wish I was a kid again.
My daughter is smart. She has told me on several occasions that she doesn’t want to grown up and get big. She subconsciously knows being a kid is far better than being an adult. We have to go to work and don’t play with toys. She knows. My son’s biggest concern is Fortnite. Every Facebook video you’ve seen out there where mother’s reenact their son’s playing Fortnite is accurate. Eerily accurate. Yes, boys must really all be the same. So what’s their secret to endless happiness and carefree life?
I know what it is. Naivete. They don’t know the world is horrible yet. My daughter seems to have no idea that school shootings happen yet she has taken part in drills in school where they hide in the class room so they can’t be seen from the door. My son knows they happen but he is not scared to go to school. Not yet anyway. Luckily nothing crazy like that has happened close enough to home for him to really take notice and have concerns.
I don’t know talk to my kids about politics but between my parents, me and even my husband, they seem to know (think) Trump isn’t good. But they don’t know why exactly. They probably don’t know about the wall or families being separated. And, you know what? I have no plans to tell them. I hated the news as a kid and never understood why my parents watched it. As an adult I watch the news almost every night and read about things online. This is part of the problem. I’m bombarded with bad news. It’s everywhere. You don’t just get 30-60 minutes of news every night on the tv, you get it all day. Now, I could just not read the news but that is hard to do. Even Facebook and Twitter are full of political leanings and causes.
So no. As long as my kids are happy and naively unaware of the world’s troubles I tend to keep it that way. I learned as I grew and developed my own thoughts and opinions. I didn’t continue to grown unaware of the world around me and neither will my kids. But I don’t want to take away their happiness. As issues arise and they have questions I will talk to them about it so they can understand what is happening, but I won’t make them grow up. Once you figure out what the world can be there’s no turning back, and at ages 7 and 10, there’s no need to jade them yet. They have a lifetime ahead of them to be jaded by the world.